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Mettle
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Mettle is a place for anyone facing illness, grief, and death.

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Here for Those

  • Seeking solace
  • In search of meaning
  • Caring for family
  • Living with illness
  • With a story to share
  • Close to death
  • In pain
  • Looking for connection
  • Seeking friendship
  • Reckoning with change
  • Needing to fall apart
  • Caring for partners
  • Curious about life and death
  • Needing comfort
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Coping with change
  • In deep grief
  • Full of good ideas
  • Wanting community
  • Buried in the daily grind
  • Craving beauty
  • Caring for friends
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A membership for the stuff of life and death.

A black, red and yellow butterfly in flight against a blue sky.
A red geranium in a window box before frosted glass.
A blurred silhouette in the foreground of a dusky desert, a distant figure and car behind.
Pale flower shapes scattered across a dark, shadowed surface.
A child's hand resting on an adult's shoulder beside a lake.
An older person's hands resting on a raised knee, in a red shirt and trousers.
A person lying on a bed, arms raised towards a window filled with golden light.
A man smiling at his laptop, seated at a desk beside a window.
A ladybird on the tip of a child's finger.
A blurred figure lying among swaying pink and orange flowers.
Green treetops and sky streaked by motion blur.
Two silhouetted figures, one blurred, sitting by the sea at dusk.
A bumblebee flying among yellow thistle flowers.
The soft shadow of a hand holding two flowers on a pale wall.
A pelican in flight against a sky of streaked clouds.

Life is Change.

BJ Miller standing on a garden path beside a wooden house, looking up into the trees.

We envision a world with less needless suffering, and more love. How? Through mettle, the strength and spirit in each of us that helps us get by. And that’s what we’re about—coming together to nourish each other’s mettle.

Who You’ll Find Here

Co-founded by BJ Miller, MD, and Sonya Dolan. Tended to by a vibrant community of practitioners, artists, experts, guides, and people like you.

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  • BJ holding a black dog by the water.

    BJ

    I’m a one-armed fan of butter, pizza, animals, art, moving around on two wheels, Mother Nature (and that includes human nature), and uncovering ways to help people (including myself) think and feel differently about illness and loss. Find me happy playing fetch with my pup.

  • Bridget with a group by the Golden Gate Bridge.

    Bridget

    I am a friend and mom first and foremost. Here for everything griefy, all the time.

  • Anaïs wearing a polka-dot top.

    Anaïs

    I am a 30-something lady living in beautiful Brooklyn, NY and in the process of becoming a certified death doula. Lover of performance art, caffeinated beverages, long walks around the city, and deep talks with friends and strangers.

  • Jess smiling with two children.

    Jess

    I love finding joy in the practical—a bike ride to the grocery store, dancing while making dinner. I’m a mama, a dog lover, a neighbor, and community organizer.

  • Zofia standing beside the sea.

    Zofia

    A daughter, a sister, a friend, and a dog mom. You'll often find me reading in my backyard, bird-watching on the beach, or creating something beautiful in my studio.

  • Deb smiling alongside another person.

    Deb

    I'm a social worker, a corporate executive, a leader of people, cultures, and teams, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, and bestie. I can cook up a pretty ferocious strategy, and an even better lasagna, but I am most at home in the art and science of relationships, and the exquisite craft of caring for each other and this beautiful world we get to inhabit.

  • Fredgy seated in a blazer.

    Fredgy

    I'm a filmmaker who finds inspiration in art, fashion, music, and the moments that make life anything but boring. I'm happiest exploring a city I've never visited, getting lost in a museum, dancing to really good music, or having one of those conversations about love that goes on for hours.

  • Ian smiling alongside a child.

    Ian

    I’m a dad of three in the sandwich generation supporting ailing parents on both sides while trying to hold all of life’s joys and griefs with equanimity and peace instead of anxiety and overwhelm. Living in Oxford, UK and trying to get the most out of life (and death).

  • Camille smiling alongside another person.

    Camille

    I’m a curious, people-loving connector who enjoys a good conversation, a little adventure, and bringing people together. I love finding joy in the everyday, laughing often, and making the most of the time we have. I also like hugs.

  • Andreas sitting outdoors in a blue sweater.

    Andreas

    I’m best described through my happy place. On a trail with the people I care about with lots of snack breaks. I’m here for all the small talk, the deep conversations and everything in between.

  • Sonya with another person beneath trees.

    Sonya

    I’m the product of the love of my parents and I feel most myself when loving on others through listening, cheerleading and laughter. Plus a Friday evening martini.

  • Kelly smiling alongside a child.

    Kelly

    Mama, middle sister, stargazer. Supercharged by words, nature, ties that bind.

  • Karen smiling alongside another person at a concert.

    Karen

    I am a mom of 2 boys, of 2 dogs, a spouse, a devoted fan to the bands I love and an aspiring social justice warrior. I feel some version of grief everyday, often counterbalanced by laughing at the dogs.

Pink flowers and green leaves, blurred by motion.

I scheduled a consultation to discuss my dad’s recent cancer diagnosis. What I got was a keen incisive dive into the guts of the matter. After my consultation I was able to have a new kind of vulnerable conversation with my dad, and I could tell he appreciated it.

A man's hand resting on the shoulder of an older woman in a purple blouse.
Becoming Closer Darryl H.

Reviews from our members

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Mettle Stories, Ideas & Events

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A person lying on a bed, arms raised towards a window filled with golden light.
A black, red and yellow butterfly in flight against a blue sky.
Clasped hands resting on a patterned blanket.
A small red flower against a dusky pink sky.
Pale grasses against a blue sky.
A child's hand resting on an adult's shoulder beside a lake.

Find your mettle.

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A pink flower among pale grasses, blurred by motion.